Diagnosis: Single and Unafraid

In recent years there has been such a big push to be “taken off the market”, “tie the knot “, or “jump the broom”. It seems no matter where you turn there’s ONLINE DATING, app dating, matchmaking companies and those few friends just waiting to set you up with a “nice” guy.

My big question is why the big push? I know everyone wants to be loved, but can we wish happily ever after into existence by just thinking about it? The answer is undoubtedly no! If it was that easy EHARMONY, match.com, and plenty of fish wouldn’t be making millions of dollars a year. Since the wishing and clicking of our heels doesn’t work we need to ask why is there so much pressure put on finding Prince Charming. I think many of us would like to have their very own prince right at home.

It would be easy to say there is nothing we can do but that would just be an EXCUSE. There are 3 things we need to consider when it comes to being single:

1. We can learn to be happy with ourselves. There are far too many women beating themselves up over the fact they are single. Ladies, if you know you have your self together emotionally, financially, and EDUCATIONALLY and mentally then just sit back and relax.

2. We can stop demonizing the opposite sex because we are single. While in the previous statement I said “relax and wait” that ONLY APPLIES to those that have their selves together. There may be a few of us women out there that don’t possess any of the qualities we are asking from Prince Charming. If this sounds like it is a sure fire way to end up single or in a dysfunctional relationship. If you are not ready how can you expect him to make you ready.

3. Stop looking at life as incomplete because you’re not in a relationship. You have to be whole before he comes. Embrace the fact that you’re strong enough not stay in a toxic relationship. Applaud yourself for recognizing your worth and waiting for someone that is aligned with yourself and vision. Being single is not a death SENTENCE nor a permanent state, but even if it was so what! Is being with another person the only way to reach happiness or feel at peace with yourself? Don’t let others outdated biases determine the your happiness and self satisfaction.

About Janee V. Henderson

Janee' V. Henderson is a licensed professional counselor, coach, and consultant. She is based in Kansas City, Missouri, and holds a license to service those located in Missouri, Texas, and New Jersey. Janee received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Hampton University and a Master's in Counseling Psychology from Temple University. She is currently pursuing her Doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Janee has certifications in Anger Management and Trauma-Informed Care.

Leave a Comment